If you make a goal should you lock yourself into it?
I had a post written for today, but I got busy scrubbing floors, scrubbing toilets, cleaning the car, running errands, prepping for tomorrow’s out of town wedding, and all that busy life stuff that happens. I didn’t post here like I had planned to.
I was ready to dismiss it as “no big deal” when someone pointed out to me that I have failed at my 365 consecutive days of blogging goal. It is true. I have missed some days since I started. In fact, I should have posted 52 times by now, and I have only posted 42 times. I am failing. And failing at a goal must mean that it isn’t important to me, right?
I’m not so sure about that. I am not sure at all what to think.
I know better than to make excuses. Excuses are too easy. Just now, between the last paragraph and this one, I looked down and realized that Adelaide was leaking poop out of her diaper. It was all over a puzzle, and the rug, and her legs. I put the computer down to clean her up, which took considerable effort because she didn’t want to stop playing and the poop was everywhere, and it took some deliberation to figure out what to use to get runny poop out of the carpet.
And it wasn’t as simple as a diaper change either. I use cloth diapers, and as I was cleaning the baby up, I realized I was using my last clean diaper. After the diaper change there was, of necessity, a load of laundry to be done. Then, everyone was hungry so dinner happened. Somewhere during all of that, my toothbrush landed in the toilet and I don’t have an extra one and I am still wondering if my time would be better spent running to the store for a new toothbrush instead of blogging. It is almost a miracle I picked the computer back up again.
So, yeah. If I wanted to make excuses I’ve got about ten million really valid ones. It would be too easy and I’d never get anything done.
But if excuses are off the table, then what? I don’t like the way it feels to hear that I am failing – that I am a failure – that I am not doing my best. I don’t feel like I am failing. It doesn’t resonate with me to say that this isn’t important, because it feels important. Truthfully, I feel pretty good about the shape this blog has taken in the past two months and my ability to juggle it all. I know there is room for improvement, but I feel like I am moving forward most days.
It’s still there though – the Fact that I have not followed through with my original plan. Failure. I don’t know what to think.
- Do I recommit myself to 365 days of blogging?
- Do I modify the goal to fit what has been happening and feels to me like it has been working?
- Is making goals pointless if you can just scrap them to fit what is happening at different times?
- Does it really mean that it isn’t important to me if I don’t meet my goal 100% of the time?
- Am I failing? Should I care?
- What kind of standards should I be holding myself to and how do I measure my progress and success?
It’s Friday night for heaven’s sake. I have a hundred things to do tonight, followed by two hundred things to do tomorrow and the next day. I want to relax, but this is on my mind. Any thoughts or experiences with goals, successes and failures? I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this as I try to clarify my own.