I hate being the bad guy. Lately I’ve been wearing that uniform a lot though. I agonize over decisions to be made, knowing that there is a right decision but that the right decision will make me unpopular with some and despised by others. I’m doing the right thing I say, but I feel like I’m growing a new nose wart as I hop onto my broom.
I hate being the bad guy so much that I would probably make the wrong but easily likeable decision more often if it weren’t for my kids. When it comes to my kids, the only option is to do the right thing, no matter how difficult or unpopular it may be. But because it is so important to me to do right by my kids, I also put a lot more thought and prayer and feeling into all decisions involving their wellbeing. By the time I come to a decision, I am normally quite certain that I have done the right thing.
So why the bad guy complex?
I think it is that I hate to be unliked. It feels terrible to know that there are people out there hating me, despising me, cursing my name. Even if it is my ex and his clan and it is, perhaps, normal to draw that line in the sand. I get that not everyone is going to like my particular brand of human, but it still hurts to be the bad guy.
Last week I had to make some unpopular decisions.
I recognize that my interpretation of “right” is probably quite subjective, but I did my very best to make the right decisions. I examined my own motives to be quite certain there was no malice, no anger. I prayed and meditated on the questions. In the end I made the decisions that felt most peaceful.
I was sure that I had made the right decisions. I felt calm, peaceful, and assured that I was doing the right thing for my kids and for myself. So when that bad guy feeling started to creep in, I took my own mother’s advice (after all she’s had years of experience in the decision making department) and changed my perspective.
What if I am not the bad guy? Sure, one crowd may be certain they saw the telltale broom. But what if all that meditating, and praying, and feeling actually was the right thing to do. If I feel good about my decisions, maybe I just need to look at this from another direction.
What if I am the good guy?
In the end, the most important thing to me is that I do my very best to make good decisions for my family. Everytime I make a decision, however unpopular it may be, that is the very best thing for my family, I am the good guy.
Being the good guy changes everything. When I am wearing my good guy uniform, I can meet dissension with confidence. Even Superman got booed at sometimes, right? Rather than feeling bad about those that don’t understand my decisions or despise me for making them, I can feel good knowing that I am strong enough to make the difficult, but right decisions. When I am not worrying about what other people think, it feels good to do the right thing.
I am trading in my broom for a cape.